There’s trust and then there’s trusting the self
We know that trust is vital in any relationship in work or outside and its presence or absence determines success or failure. Equally, the components of trust – character, competence and experience – are well known. Often though we have an external focus on the quality of trust…it’s something we develop outside ourselves – extending or receiving, or earning – in relationship with others. Isn’t it?
If so we’re missing the most vital relationship of all…the one with ourselves and the trust we have in our selves. The thing is, if we don’t have self-trust it makes building trust with others incredibly difficult. Yet what is self…how do we connect with it.
Sure, there’s the personality that shows up each day maybe a little or a lot different from relationship to relationship, group to group, task to task and so on. And this lack of congruence perhaps undermines the possibility for trust. Then there’s the self…the soul if you like. The essence of who we are. The one of us that’s connected to something much bigger and more potent than everyday concerns. And if you think I’ve lost it at this point, well that’s okay.
The thing is this is where self-trust begins and grows. It’s the place where we really listen, and deeply, through our heart and to our intuition. The place we access through deep reflection. The place that sends out a message in the form of a feeling when something doesn’t feel quite right about the decision or path we’re about to take. The channel through which knowing comes to us…a deep insight that we wouldn’t have perceived in our everyday mode. All of these are foundations for self-trust.
If we’ve got it then it shows up in how we show up. In the quiet confidence we exude in even the most uncertain circumstances. In the trust we extend to others that has a deep compassion at its heart. In the trust we inspire in others that has an unconditional quality to it.
I’m not suggesting I’m there yet rather I think it’s something worth working hard on as a leader and a human being.