Usually in the workplace the conversations that don’t happen, or tend to be put off for too long, are the difficult/more challenging ones…giving constructive feedback, calling out poor behaviour, introducing a change that’s unlikely to be popular. Each of these, and other personal examples you’ll undoubtedly have, are important. Leaving them to drift can cause harm
But they’re by no means the only conversations that go missing through inaction. We might consider some of the others that tend to be neglected…
For example, poor communication is probably the most cited issue in organisational life. What’s likely missing isn’t that information hasn’t been shared, rather meaning hasn’t been made from that information. This is a pretty common scenario when information is communicated organisation wide.
Meaning and understanding develop through dialogue, through leaders discussing the information with their people so that shared clarity is reached. If we make the time to talk in this way we are eliminating the risk of unhelpful interpretations and distortions arising.
‘I’m fine’ is a common response to ‘how are you?’ and another example of conversations that are needed but don’t happen. Challenging schedules often prevent us from going deeper rendering the inquiry polite but meaningless rather than genuine. What does fine mean? What’s the quality of this ‘fine-ness?’
The thing is the ‘stiff upper lip’ is alive and well for many in the workplace (and valued by some organisations). Where it’s about people being calm, unflappable and resilient in the face of adversity that’s a useful thing. Where someone is struggling mentally or emotionally and supressing or masking it that’s not fine. Taking time to inquire gently, with empathy, will help us understand what’s going on for, and able to offer support to, our colleagues in the right way.
Not having the right conversation, at the right depth, can also trip us up when delegating work to our people. If we don’t spend enough time both sharing what’s needed with clarity and exploring understanding of expectations, we may be setting up failure so the work needs to be redone and the other person’s confidence has taken a knock.
Making these conversations happen is a leadership responsibility, an act of service to our people, and surely a choice we must make as it is a path to a healthier, happier, and thriving organisation. Time to talk?