We could be forgiven for thinking big talk describes the kind of boastful and often unsubstantiated, self-aggrandising, other-blaming claims broadcast by leaders in the public eye. Let’s face it there’s a lot of this about and a particularly consistent example across the Pond.
However, big talk is about something much deeper and higher and a practice that as leaders, and human beings, we should be nurturing.
How many of our interactions with others each day are transactional? Ten per cent, 50, most of them. Likely we don’t pay enough attention to put a number on it but if we did think about it the number might be surprisingly high.
In big talk we are looking to get beyond the casual how are you and into a deeper enquiry that is genuinely interested in the other, into how they are feeling and why and how we can support. It requires us to be vulnerable and to open up faster and it brings us into more intimate relationship.
It can also get us into bigger and more meaningful subjects – those that touch ours and others’ values, that connect with our passions and concerns and that reflect our aspirations for ourselves and for the world.
In teams it can take us beyond the superficial addressing of issues into a much deeper dialogue where the real challenge and opportunity are exposed. How often have we ‘fixed’ what we thought was the problem only to discover that it was a symptom rather than the whole thing.
Our interactions are the glue of our social fabric, the building blocks of our relationships, of trust, of meaning, and of progressing positive action. Given their importance shouldn’t we give them more of our time, attention and big talk?