Leading by example is one of the oft quoted qualities needed of effective leaders but isn’t it missing something…the word good as in leading by good example?
Leadership is a 24/7 commitment, a way of being as well as doing. Everything we do and say, the attitudes we hold, our presence, are being experienced and assessed by those we lead and interact with as examples of leadership.
If, for example, we prioritise quality relationships, open, honest and warm communication, we’re setting a good example, good behaviours for others to emulate – giving permission, if you like, to others to behave in that way. Conversely, brusqueness, a lack of caring, poor listening, terse communication, disinterest in the person, gives permission to others to behave similarly.
Organisations and teams can flourish or founder on the quality of relationships in their eco-system. So, if we don’t focus on nurturing quality relationships as leaders, we’re suggesting to others that these aren’t important and don’t require attention or investment.
And the same principle holds good in other areas of our leadership. If we’re dismissive of opportunities for our development our team will likely hold the same attitude. If we are disparaging about other teams in the business that will spill out into the behaviours of our team members.
Regular reflection on our behaviours – on what it’s like to be on the end of me – is useful if we want to polish up how we show up. And if we really want to know what permissions we’re giving we just have to pay attention to how our colleagues are and act.